So many thoughts and feelings about this season of The Bachelor, specifically about Juan Pablo. It’s bad. I was irritated with my husband this morning and found myself thinking I bet Juan Pablo wouldn’t pull this kind of crap!

Anyways, highlights from the premier:

Camila Valentina: Juan Pablo’s valentine forever. I don’t get sappy about children that easily, but this melted my heart into a puddle.

“I speak the language of love.” —Juan Pablo YEAH YA DO BUDDY!

“Juan Pablo fever has reached epidemic proportions.” The ever so wise, calming, encouraging Chris has said it better than I could have myself.

I think it’s safe to say Juan Pablo prefers blondes. Though complimentary to all, I could just see an extra spark in his eyes every time there was a blonde / blondish woman in front of him. Response to limo #1 went something like this:

First blonde:“Holy moly, oh my gosh you look gorgeous…You’re looking good, very good. I’m liking this first limo.”
Second blonde: “Oh my God, wow.”
Third blonde: “Wow, this first limo is on fire!” Bites his first as she walks in the door.

The first impression rose — of course Juan Pablo has to give the rose to the girl who is the least interested in him. OF COURSE. Sharleen is classy and gorgeous. I loved her dress too! But really it’s sooo obvious that she’s just not that into him. But because boys (and let’s be real, girls too) are often dumb, her obviously cool demeanor makes him even more attracted to her. Maybe she’s nervous, but it sure didn’t sound like it when she was talking to the cameras:

“Juan Pablo is definitely a good package,” she said. “But you know, I guess I thought I would feel a little more of this insta-chemistry than I did. I guess I feel a little distraught because there has been so much buildup and you kind of expect some kind of connection that honestly — if I’m totally honest — seemed a little forced.”

On another note, the whole “sir” thing got to me. He’s your equal. You are the same age. We don’t live in the 1700s. COME ON. Also, Sharleen’s favorite author is Haruki Murakami. Woah. Also my favorite! Insta-points for me! Ultimately, she’s doomed. DOOMED. That said, I think she will go far.

I’m dying to see who the crazy is in the bathroom stall. I have my theories, but I think I need one more episode to solidify them before I share.

After doing some intense soul searching and looking at the hair from the sneak peeks for the season here are my predictions for the top five: Andi, Nikki, Renne, Clare, and Sharleen.

SPOILER from last night: Girls eliminated are Valerie, Amy J., Alexis, Ashley, Lacy, Kylie, Lauren H., Maggie and Christine.

All my fingers and toes are crossed for Juan Pablo to find love and I’m so excited to see what kind of romantic adventures and crazy ladies will be in store for us this season!