Baby what?

by Emily, Oviedo, FL

I was dating a guy for two months. He came to visit me (we lived three hours away) one weekend, to talk about our relationship, getting more serious, etc. We went to meet some of his friends from law school downtown. We ordered buffalo chicken fingers as an app at the bar. They weren’t the best, but not the worst things ever. He said (in a VERY loud voice) “This is disgusting, I’m not eating this”, and told me to put it down, that I was not to eat another bite. He then went up to the bartender and proceeded to THROW the basket of chicken behind the bar. Then he asked that we get two free drinks for the food being so gross. I let that slide. Went to dinner at a very upscale Japanese/sushi lounge. Sat down, ordered, everything was going smoothly (he did not apologize for the previous outburst yet). He then said he had something to tell me. I said OK. He said that he had a 3 year old son with his ex-girlfriend. While I was processing that, the thought of “this changes everything” was NOT running through my mind. I had many questions, many concerns. I love kids, I was thrilled to know he had a son. One thing bothered me though: That he waited two months to tell me. What kind of father is he if he waits two months to even TALK about his child? So, while I am letting this process he tells me this long story about when, how where,, etc. After about 15 minutes of the story, he then laughs and says that he made the whole thing up. I know you are asking yourself WHY on earth would someone MAKE UP a child? Good question, so I asked him myself. His response: “I wanted to see if you would accept me for everything I am and still want to be with me no matter what.” I started to cry. He thought I was being a “drama queen” and “immature” (I was 23 and he was 29 at the time). I’m the one being immature? As a lady, I excused myself to the restroom to contemplate what had just happened. I came back to the table. He then restated the fact that he did all this to see if I liked him enough. I told him that I wasn’t in shock because of a child, but that it was racing through my mind that he was a bad father for not mentioning a child up until now. He thought that was a “very stupid” reason for being upset. We left the restaurant, started driving home, not one apology, not one “I’m sorry.” He left the next morning, and I never spoke to him again.