So after being chased for a year, I finally gave in, convinced that perhaps he was right… not all men are jerks that get what they want and then toss you aside. He was romantic and persistent and would not give up. I gave in after a year and totally blanketed myself in love and security. After several dates and two stolen weekends of passion where he professed his undying love, I was in bliss… until he came to me one night and said “I can’t keep on seeing you. You are too nice. You are just too nice. You are too nice for me.” So I said, “You’re breaking up with me because I am too nice?” — of course I was totally puzzeled. He said “Yes. I am sorry.” So I thought about it carefully and then kicked him in the balls.

“How about now?” I said.

He left.

That was 10 years ago and I still don’t get it.