Romance sickens me

by noelmaree7, South Pasadena, CA

A friend of mine wanted me to accompany her and her boyfriend on leave from the Coast Guard for a day of sightseeing in New York City.

The boyfriend brought a male buddy along. From the get-go it was a disaster. The friend was so nervous being from the south and I was supposedly a sophisticated New Yorker. He consumed too much alcohol at lunch. By three in the afternoon he was pawing me on the Staten Island Ferry and telling me he wanted to marry me and have ten children. My date stumbled to my car and complained of a headache. No kidding. All I had at home was some cold medicine. I told him to drink some coffee to get rid of the alcohol before taking the cold medicine. He knew better. By the time the movie came on around 4:30 in the afternoon my sailor date slid out of his seat onto the buttered floor.

We let him sleep in the car after he awakened from his stupor. Upon awakening he vomited projectile style (as children do after a day at the fair) for a good fifteen minutes, ruining my car’s rugs. At this point I wanted to join the Coast Guard myself to just get away from this guy.

Hours later my friend and I left the boyfriend and his barely conscious pal by the docks to where they were to be picked up and brought back to their boat.

My friend accused me of nearly killing the guy for giving him the cold medicine. She screamed at me how I ruined her romantic day because I could have been more friendly to the inebriated country bumpkin.

I lost a supposed friend that day and my taste for blind dates.
All in all I couldn’t stomach either of them.