The encounter

by magic bean buyer, Redford, MI

I was a newcomer to the computer dating scene but felt I’d bagged a winner, cute, smart, artistic, good job; really what more could I ask?

We met at the local art museum, it was lovely, he was a gentleman, sweet and articulate; just as much fun in person as in e-mail. After the first few galleries we stopped for a coffee, the conversation was light and pleasant, he seemed quite interested in me as well, “Another computer dating success!”, I thought to myself.

After coffee we started through the rest of the museum, at one point we waited to let a school group get past us and once they’d gone we were alone in the room, he asked me to come sit near him on one of the big stone benches…I was, of course, thinking “oh yes! first kiss” but no, he wanted to talk.
He began by saying that he was really enjoying himself, and he hoped that this could go further, then he took my hand, stared deeply into my eyes and said…

“I have to tell you something”

Now, I date, I read; I’m thinking he’s going to tell me he’s married, used to be a woman, has a clown fetish, who knows?? -my mind went directly to Jerry Springer land.

He lowered his voice and leaned forward…”I’ve been abducted by aliens”…

(silence) my mind spun- I thought don’t laugh, he could be serious, dangerous even- don’t laugh!
I said the only thing I could think of, “mmmm?” He evidently took this for acceptance sighed as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders and added, “Twenty-seven times…”

I kept hoping he would laugh before my head exploded, the Springer in my head sat down to watch, all I could say was “oh…wow.”

Obviously feeling more at ease now he disclosed “…and if I seem nervous, it’s because I feel like they’re coming again, soon.”

I could have fallen off the bench laughing but I kept control. It was all I could do to walk through the last gallery without asking if he’d been “probed”.

As he walked me to my car he said he’d really enjoyed our date. I squeaked out an “It was great meeting you,” and watched him drive away with tears in my eyes; once his car was out of sight I laughed until I cried and the lady parked next to me was very concerned.

Later I thought, how sad; if I’d not believed in aliens- he’d lost me in the first admission. If I was on the fence the second would have thrown me a bit and were I a fellow abductee the last bit would have gotten rid of me…

Needless to say it is my shining example of the disadvantages of computer dating.