Friends before lovers

by vgreene, Harpers Ferry, WV

I have always been a shy person. I don’t know if it is because I was a middle child or if it was because I was a military child that never found roots. I did not start dating until I got in college. I could never open up and let guys know how I really felt. So I put up with more things than the average girlfriend would such as infidelity, physical abuse, and downright disrespect. When I finally could not take any more I was too shy to break-up and would write a letter (how elementary).

During my junior year my roommate dated a guy that did not live on campus. He was often in our room before, during, and after classes. Soon he started bringing his roommate by. I would come to my room and find this guy at my desk, on my bed, or using our bathroom. Often I would become angry and yell at him to leave.

I was majoring in education and had to do numerous art projects. This guy was an art major and he helped me with many of the projects. During that semester we became friends. Romance did not enter the picture. He was not my type. Well the semester ended and I was on my way home and he was on his way to New York. He tried to give me his phone number and address but I told him that was not necessary. We probably would not be seeing each other again.

My roommate had broken up with her boyfriend by now. That summer I started missing my art friend. I missed our conversations, our fun times and our friendship. The first day back on campus our eyes met and they told the story. We were going to be a couple. We dated two years after that. But this relationship was unlike any other I had before. I could voice my opinion, I could open up, I could be myself. It was the best relationship that I every had. I realized that we were friends first before starting a relationship. I used that lesson in every relationship thereafter. Let’s become friends first the other components will follow.