The Bachelor FINALE Recap: “I have a ring in my pocket and I’m not going to use it.”

By Nicole,

Last night Bachelor fans all around the nation watched with bated breath — who would Juan Pablo pick? Would he pick anyone at all? I wasn’t convinced that he would pick anyone, but if he did it would be Nikki. Well, both my hunches were right unfortunately: Nikki “won,” but did not receive a ring.

So what happened? How does one go to the most loved bachelor in history to the most loathed one in a matter of weeks? Easy — just be a douchebag. Both Clare and Nikki met Juan Pablo’s family where they were more than welcoming to each girl, but eerily all placed heavy emphasis on asking questions about what would happen if Juan Pablo was ready to walk away because there were hard things going on in the relationship? Juan Pablo’s mom told Clare point blank that he could be very rude in the way he says things and make you cry. Don’t worry, according to Juan Pablo himself, he’s just being “honest.”

The main dramatic event of the night happened on Clare’s one-on-one date. She and Juan Pablo take a helicopter ride to an island where the cameras are off for a moment and Juan Pablo allegedly says something along the lines of “I don’t know you very well, but I love hooking up with you.” The actual words are too vulgar and hurtful for Clare to repeat. Stunned, Clare contemplates leaving, but wants to have a conversation with Juan Pablo to get to the bottom of the situation. He soothes her fears of not just being a piece of ass by throwing the “b” word around and talking about how he could picture a life with her. That’s right he talks about having BABIES with her so naturally she thinks she’s the winner.

Nikki’s one-on-one was an uneventful day at a beach. She’s visibly nervous and Juan Pablo does little to help as he acts like an awkward child when she presents him with a final gift of a very sweetly written card and framed picture of them. Nothing creepy like the journals we’ve seen in the past. He doesn’t really say “thank you” or “this means a lot” or “I’m so glad you gave this to me,” he just leaves. Of course he kisses her goodbye a lot. And then Nikki cries. Poor thing.

So what happens on the final day? Juan Pablo dumps Clare and she goes off on him big time for so grossly misleading her the night before. The last thing she says to him is, “I would never want my children having a father like you,” and then she leaves. For the first time all season, I felt sad for Clare.

THEN after Nikki tells Juan Pablo that she’s soooo in love with him, he tells her, “I have a ring in my pocket and I’m not going to use it.” He doesn’t like her enough to marry her, but doesn’t not like her enough to let her go. How sweet right? NOT. Nikki doesn’t look happy, but she keeps it together — at least in what we see. Instead of voice overs of how happy they both are to finally declare their love for each other, the show abruptly ends.

After the Final Rose — let’s recap this amazingly awful event:

  • Clare refuses to talk to Juan Pablo.
  • Chris asks Nikki if she still feels the same. She says “yes.” But Juan Pablo has yet to say “I love you.”
  • Chris alludes to the fact that Juan Pablo has talked to the producers about a surprise, but Juan Pablo says there is not surprise. The only “surprise” is that he and Nikki are still together. Huh? Chris gets peeved. Nikki looks immediatly crestfallen.
  • Chris asks Juan Pablo, “Do you love her?” Juan Pablo says “I’m not gonna answer that question to you… This is real life. I’m not gonna force it…” Huh?
  • Juan Pablo accuses Chris of interrupting him! Nobody understands when that happened AND NOBODY gets to be rude to Chris.
  • Juan Pablo regrets none of his actions or anything he said to anyone. When asked about his un-filmed words with Clare, he says that those moments were “private” and therefore he has nothing to regret.
  • Chris outrightly tells Juan Pablo that everyone is just more than a little confused about what’s happening. Juan Pablo still refuses to elaborate on feelings of love. He will only say that they are “very happy.”
  • Chris asks what their plans are for the future and Juan Pablo refuses to answer because “the show is over.” Nikki stays silent. Sean’s Catherine sagely says, “Don’t bite the hand that fed you.” Juan Pablo doesn’t get it and doesn’t care.
  • ANDI is the next Bachelorette! Yay!!!

To be fair, I think Juan Pablo is upset about all the negative media attention he received, but it turns out that a lot of it is justified. He’s also just about the most horrible person I’ve ever seen at expressing how he actually feels in words. To make matters worse he won’t admit it because in the eyes of Juan Pablo, Juan Pablo is perfect. I do respect that he didn’t propose when he wasn’t ready. It was perhaps one of the most honest Bachelor endings we have seen to date. However, I don’t think this makes up for being rude to Chris and 3/4 of the girls that were there to find love. At the end of the day Juan Pablo has been revealed to be not so nice a guy. So sad. At the end of the day, I do wish all the best to Nikki and Juan Pablo. I hope with the cameras gone and the ability to be a real couple will make them a successful match.