The Bachelor Recap: Don’t Expect a Rose Just Because You Kiss.

By Nicole,

“The more I can cook, the more the girl is happy, the happier then, I am.” — Juan Pablo.

All-time favorite quote. So far…

“I don’t know if having another daughter is what he wants.” — Elise on Chelsie.
Oh snap!

“Holy moly macaroni.” — Juan Pablo.
Juan Pablo is the only male adult who can say this.

“Juan Pablo’s head was in her crotch for 20 min.” — Kelly
A very astute comment on Kat’s chicken shenanigans in the pool during rose n’ swim, which is what I’m calling the pool party before the rose ceremony.

Things are getting slightly serious now…

In my humble opinion — Elise is not going to win. BUT she’s the winner of most entertaining for last night’s episode. Her very vocal belief in getting the one-on-one date over Chelsie was weaved into much of the show – a build up for when she, in fact, did not get the one-on-one. HA. Her unshakable belief that she is destined for Juan Pablo is awe inspiring considering there are still so many gals around. Elise reveals to Renee that her mother who died of cancer wrote a submission letter for her to be on The Bachelor. A respectable and very touching reason. But isn’t telling another contestant, whom you appear to like, that you have the ultimate destiny for Juan Pablo in not so many words a little weird? I just don’t know about that Elise…

Making good on his promise of getting to know Cassandra sooner rather than later because her son is at home, Juan gave her the first one-on-one date. They went for a ride in an awesome boat / car thing, spent some time on a yacht, and then Juan Pablo cooked dinner for her. Needless to say they had a great time. She got the rose. End date.

During the group date at a soccer stadium, Juan Pablo pitted the girls against each other for a soccer game. At the end everyone got to spend time with him. Nikki revealed her fears about getting hurt if she opened up to him, scoring her the rose; while Andi (in secret) and Sharleen (in front of everyone) had make-out sessions and were each a little confused about not getting the rose.

For Chelsie’s date, Juan Pablo made her jump off a bridge with him. Unfortunately we had to watch Chelsie flip out and cry a little for several minutes before they did. Surely there was something more juicy than this. I wanted to see Lucy’s cartwheel scene play out from the previews! She got the rose. End everything interesting about this date.

Instead of a cocktail party Juan Pablo decided to come over and cook the ladies breakfast and then have a pool party — the rose n’ swim! All was well until Kat started hogging Juan Pablo. Sharleen = agitated and cries in front of Juan Pablo because she, yet again, is unsure she is the right kind of girl for him. This earns her another tiny make-out with him in a not so private spot, scoring her second in-front-of-everyone-else kiss of the episode. Clare sees the whole thing and has a mini-meltdown. Nothing crazy — just cries in the bathroom for a bit. A bachelor kissing more than one lady?! Shocker. I know. Prepare yourself. It might happen again next week…

Adiós to: Lucy and Christy.